In love

We kiss with our eyes closed because they say you stop using one sense another is enhanced, without seeing that person you can feel closer to them in every way. People are frivolous beings, sometimes we kiss with no meaning, we flirt with no intentions and we do things that make others and ourselves feel good... but in the end none of that means anything compared to what it means when you have someone you are in love with, then all your senses are on fire and everything means so much more.

Starting bloggin again... maybe?

I just don't have the time to write anything emotional today. Since I last bothered with this blog so much has happened and changed, but to go over it and provide some insight and some of the things I've learned would take a rather large toll on my emotions so lets leave it for now.

But I do wanna write something. Because just throwing up a random and rather self-pitying piece I wrote a while ago isn't really my idea of a blog entry.

I'm tired and anxious is all I really have to say for myself. Sitting at uni where I can watch the people pass as I wait for my next lecture, in which I will pay minimal attention because I'm tired and anxious.

I hate to oversell things, so I always end up under selling my problems. Like for me to admit I'm anxious is a big deal and I'll openly add that it's over nothing. My head has just decided today that I have no interest in being relaxed. Which amuses me, cause you'd think my head would like a break too, but apparently no.

So any way this is a short and entirely unnecessary blog post but it isn't about some emo crap I wrote.

A hidden moment

Okay so I'm cheating and throwing up something I wrote a while ago. I wasn't sure what to post I was just bored and wanted to throw something up. This was what I found. Take it or leave it. It's in the style of a monologue by the way.

A spotlight, centre stage. A girl stands alone stares off. A knock can be heard.

Girl: Gimme a minute.

She turns towards the audience.

Girl: A single minute. Pause
It's what you need to wipe the tears away. Girl wipes eyes with a scrunched tissue. A social norm that streams from your mouth, an entirely different function of the brain. You don't want another minute.

Girl pauses and looks around as if towards the door. She patiently watches then turns back, head down.

Girl: You want forever. You want them to never open that door and to leave you there forever. Pause
To starve and fade away. To slowly leave nothing of yourself behind but memories painted on the walls and frozen in their minds.

Girl takes a slow step forward and then kneels to the floor slowly sitting.

Girl: I am a fake Speaking to her hands and a fraud. I am a conman, selling you lies. My lies.

Girl looks up as if speaking to another person.

Girl: I live a normal life. You can buy into me. I wait until you're fully invested. Secretly, Pause she quietens to a whisper I am broken. I have missing parts and the warranty is void. I will break.

She looks away from the imaginary person back to her hands.

Girl: Tears falling in shadows and behind closed doors. When you have bought me, I break for you. For you to fix, for you to throw away. To leave in the corner. To put out in the street. I don't mind.

She sobs once, and then chokes the rest back. Wipes her eyes again and stands up.

Girl: I feel crushed, my breath is being squeezed from me. The pain is agonising, until I feel nothing.

She exits.

END